I am kind of going to rant here today. So much to talk and so much to share, haven’t written much in a while. Usually whenever I feel like writing I initiate the subject and then somehow most of it remains incomplete. There is this entire stack of word files lying incomplete with lines confiding to no-where. I myself do not know why I keep doing that. At times when I go back to those half-inked pages, I wonder, what was I thinking when I wrote those lines? I Wish I had a good memory power, atleast I would have managed to complete all those undone words.
So, here to start with after long-long time I wish to talk about everything that has been going in my mind after my recent trip to Kolkata. Wherein, I discovered million things about life as well as myself along with my (would be) life partner. Ah, beautiful memories! It was the time that shall never come back yet my heart keeps on yearning for it to come back. Strange are the ways of life…
Whilst I was present there my mind kept on wondering that maybe I know everything of there since years (Deja vu kinds I don’t know). It’s been a week that I am back, yet I experience tension while I sleep to where I am. I keep wondering that - did I ever belong to this place (Ahmedabad)? It is not the place where I was born but it is where I grew up, spent many long years of my life. Yes, I confess at the back of my mind this place was never my place and that is why I kept escaping from here as soon as I could. However, that escape feels much different now as I knew that there was always a doorway to return back home. It is not that now I can’t return back home ever but of course now this is not what is going to be mine.
This silly heart of mine dubiously keeps winging between one that is coming is mine (whether if it is mine) or the one that is about to fade (was ever mine).
Time changes so does Life. The one hopelessly learning small bicycle with the screams of mom behind is now driving a car; the one crawling to the pillow is now running to the farthest distance. The one that couldn’t understand English letters is now writing pages. The one that couldn’t draw a single line is making paintings. Aarrghhh, what an irony!
Changes happen, few things emerge and few things submerge, people come, people go and few stay by. Suddenly life up-turns to reveal the one who’s meant to be yours like the discovery of the vast galore of sea towards the end of the shore. Probably that is when you may realize that everything you once called of as deceivance of life was meant to be there - to guide you towards the journey to the ocean's end just like a light house.
What is life and what it conveys if only I could understand. Like they say:
“Life begins from where there seems to be an end to it.”