Monday, October 25, 2010

Faith?


As she sat at the airport an hour before the new dawn to break, her mind drifted back to the voices that she was going to leave behind. She was moving towards a new beginning which she expected will light up a new road for her. It was something that she was looking forward to, something that was so unknown to her yet felt so much known to embrace it. She recalled:

She: How much do you know me to say that?
He: Yes, I agree I do not know you as per your expectations, but I wish to know you further.Do you consider that?
She: No I don’t, because I do not give you the right to delve in me.
He: I don’t need a right, I already have one.
She: Well, if you think so, you can. I shall not stop you on that but, I know what I shall consider.
He: Why do you have to be so stubborn with everything? Can you not see that I really care?
She: I do, but then it is something that I do not wish to see.
He: I fail to understand this.
She: That is what makes me not consider what you say.
He: So you simply mean that, I do not understand you?
She: No, you do. I do not deny that but, should I say that I fail to trust your understanding?
He: Alright, I get that. You still build no trust in me, right?
She: Yes, I do not and I cannot, it is both ways.
He: Can I ask, when will I be able to acquire the tinge of faith within you?
She: Never.
He: I am speechless.

She: Anurag, please I beg of you to begin to live the way you used to earlier. Live the freedom that you had within yourself, experience the colors of life once again, you always subsisted that way before I had stepped into your life. 
Anu, Leave these days of dependence. Tell me why do you have to resort to ashes and smoke? Bury my memories, really I am not the one who can make you happy. Even if I attempt to, we both will once again fail miserably. Have I not tried? There is nothing left that I can give to you now.
He: Kavya, there is a need of dependence on the ashes since they leave you behind, if not permanently but yes atleast temporarily. You tell me what else should I do then? What else is there that can make me forget your face? There is no effort that I haven’t turned to, to forget you. I can’t to do it anymore. I am almost crushed with and without you. Why does it have to be painful when I always knew you could never be with me?
She: There are no answers to your questions. All I know is to turn back and walk away. I am leaving now and forever, Anu.   


Kavya had decided to move back to her home country. She much thought that at-least leaving the place can relieve her from the memoirs that lay back there in the world that she always adored and considered hers. Sitting at the airport she still thought of running back to times and turning the wheel and make it right. However, it was too late, there was nothing she could do except running from the bearings of life.  She loved him limitlessly but, bore no trust. Her love was deep and distrustful for she neither trusted herself. Kavya’s perception of love shared no purpose to her life, as her mistrust left only nothingness to her.

She knew how much her heart pounded for him, and maybe she still stood a chance to forget and forgive him.  But her soul had said 'no more' and there was only so much she could give.  She had just turned up to hope that her decision would give him a new course and she can forsake her hearts story and move on to what the other world was weaving for her.

"Love is persistent without the resonance of faith, but holds no purpose in the life's continuum."