Lost, Really?

I wander,

To perceive a reverie,

Glistening and glimmering,

On the dreary road,

Where they blather of her,  

Giggling and bustling,

Rumbling in oceans mirth,

As if there was no shore.

They Said:

She dreamt,

Of the enchanted moon,

And bright stars,

For she had befriended,

The dark-dark night.

They said:

She was free,

To posses;

Emotions so wild,

And wishes like horses.

Ah, what a dove, I say!

Lately I am being involved in some agony aunt sessions with various people, I seriously will to escape but there isn't much choice; I have to stay, for they are my people. In those moments of distress, either I feel like crashing and crumbling my computer down (in case of chats or calls on Google Talk, Gmail, Skype and Yahoo) or dumping my phone in some ice cold water so that, I do not have to confront them.

Usually whilst listening and delivering the pep talk, I appear like epic, well not that I don't like that but at the back of my mind there is a different story running altogether. I plainly get disappointed with myself, honestly, not because I cannot meet the expectations but purely because the inner me questions, where am I lost? 

I keep wandering into the caves of darkness sometimes blaming, sometimes regretting and at times cherishing. I question where have the sentiments that I possessed disappeared, why do I not experience, the gush, as they all do when I too have been living in similar conditions. Am I really so sane, that I experience nothing anymore, have I forgotten what pain is like? I used to at certain point of time, isn’t it?  I remember how easily tears would make their way down the hill, and now what? Have I really learned to let go and grow? I have no answers.

Really I am talking gibberish today; kindly excuse me if you guys had to tolerate my insanity.