As she sat at the airport an hour before the new dawn to break, her mind drifted back to the voices that she was going to leave behind. She was moving towards a new beginning which she expected will light up a new road for her. It was something that she was looking forward to, something that was so unknown to her yet felt so much known to embrace it. She recalled:
She: How much do you know me to say that?
He: Yes, I agree I do not know you as per your expectations, but I wish to know you further.Do you consider that?
She: No I don’t, because I do not give you the right to delve in me.
He: I don’t need a right, I already have one.
She: Well, if you think so, you can. I shall not stop you on that but, I know what I shall consider.
He: Why do you have to be so stubborn with everything? Can you not see that I really care?
She: I do, but then it is something that I do not wish to see.
He: I fail to understand this.
She: That is what makes me not consider what you say.
He: So you simply mean that, I do not understand you?
She: No, you do. I do not deny that but, should I say that I fail to trust your understanding?
He: Alright, I get that. You still build no trust in me, right?
She: Yes, I do not and I cannot, it is both ways.
He: Can I ask, when will I be able to acquire the tinge of faith within you?
She: Never.
He: I am speechless.
She: Anurag, please I beg of you to begin to live the way you used to earlier. Live the freedom that you had within yourself, experience the colors of life once again, you always subsisted that way before I had stepped into your life.
Anu, Leave these days of dependence. Tell me why do you have to resort to ashes and smoke? Bury my memories, really I am not the one who can make you happy. Even if I attempt to, we both will once again fail miserably. Have I not tried? There is nothing left that I can give to you now.
He: Kavya, there is a need of dependence on the ashes since they leave you behind, if not permanently but yes atleast temporarily. You tell me what else should I do then? What else is there that can make me forget your face? There is no effort that I haven’t turned to, to forget you. I can’t to do it anymore. I am almost crushed with and without you. Why does it have to be painful when I always knew you could never be with me?
She: There are no answers to your questions. All I know is to turn back and walk away. I am leaving now and forever, Anu.
Kavya had decided to move back to her home country. She much thought that at-least leaving the place can relieve her from the memoirs that lay back there in the world that she always adored and considered hers. Sitting at the airport she still thought of running back to times and turning the wheel and make it right. However, it was too late, there was nothing she could do except running from the bearings of life. She loved him limitlessly but, bore no trust. Her love was deep and distrustful for she neither trusted herself. Kavya’s perception of love shared no purpose to her life, as her mistrust left only nothingness to her.
She knew how much her heart pounded for him, and maybe she still stood a chance to forget and forgive him. But her soul had said 'no more' and there was only so much she could give. She had just turned up to hope that her decision would give him a new course and she can forsake her hearts story and move on to what the other world was weaving for her.
"Love is persistent without the resonance of faith, but holds no purpose in the life's continuum."
22 comments:
May be for Kavya this was not a problem to be solved, but a reality waiting to be experienced and leaned from?
I could relate some parts of me to this lady.
Nice read!
Someday, she'll stay. Maybe someday, somebody forces it.
Sourav: for Kavya it was in no manner a considerate problem.It was about what life was already showing her in his form. Something that she knew rested in nothing but darkness.It was a decision that life had conditioned for her and her soul was the only indicative for the change.
Blasphemous: Wow that was a nice compliment, Thank You. Anshul, I am glad that you could relate to the post :) Yes, maybe someday when her soul reincarnates her belief system she would stay back!
don't mind but this story is so confusing. and if a story can be so confusing, just imagine how much more confusing actual love could be !!
You know when we don't create changes, changes creates us and somehow it is apparent here that Kavya was not accepting them till she had no option! Was it a soul induced change or the moment of the reality that struck her, is quite unsure, to me at least?
this is so the kind of stuff i like reading (and writing)
beautifully done! i especially like the conversation that they have...
I dont agree that leaving the place, person & resting with memories is solution... No better suggestion for Kavya thou.. but in opinion one day her Deep Love will accept Anu as he is..
Laddu: 1. Love can never be confusing it is simple and it has layers, its just that some kind of understanding and patience is required to get there. 2. The story is written from the perspective of thought processes and human mind has a complex thought procedure so it may be a bit difficult to catch it. But hey thanks for commenting. Welcome to my world of contemplations!
Sourav: Its vice-versa it is not always that changes create us, it can also be that we move towards changes to know what lays further (to create/re-incarnate ourselves).Her soul or the inner voice had struck her indicating her that there was mere darkness
on the road she was traveling. She couldn't tolerate her love being hurt by her ownself. It is better to leave! And ya u'll always remain usnsure unless u don't trust ursef and decide to obey that inner-self.
Mehak: Wow...thnx!! :) :)
Nidhi: Kavya always accepted Anu the way he was and that is why she wanted to set him free. She wanted him to be himself which he would never be being around her. Her love was caging him and changing him which she defied. To Kavya Love doesn't mean being together forever, to her Love is more than that it needs no expressions and no reins it just goes on for her. And she wanted Anu to undersatnd that. She wanted him to know that just living together and then her not giving him what he deserved was not acceptable.
Love is persistent without the resonance of faith, but holds no purpose in the life's continuum."
Persistance may just be the purpose we look for..
Quite neatly done.LIked it :)
hmm only a person who experienced it can put it so beautifully...
\
but i fail to understand why does Kavya think that Anu is constrained by her, and she wants to set him free... while Anu loves her..what does she mean by living like earlier...a person after getting married will definitely not be like he was unmarried right.. now what is she expecting.. him to flirt around with other girls?? or spend time with his boy friends??or watever which he might have stopped...
I think Kavya has someother problem, which she is covering up by giving this lame reason of letting Anu free..whereas Anu himself likes to be the way he is right now with Kavya...
anyways as you said...she never trusted him... no relation can sustain without that..
so much i could relate to it!! kavya is so much unsure about her ownself and thats what makes the things more complex..is staying together the only destiny of love. i wonder how it can be!! i do feel isn't it like encaging the free spirits..i too am so unsure!!
That was soo beautiful
Well-written. Like the conversation. Continuation of the story might clear up some of the confusing strands in the story. Hope you will continue it :)
@Rahul: I agree at some point we resort to persistence to find ourselves standing, but even then there are some purposes that lay beyond persistence and have to be achieved. Thanks for commenting :) Welcome to my world!
@Unknown: I guess everything comes from experience in life, isn't it? Now coming to the topic first of all there is nothing that Kavya ever expected from Anurag, she always loved him unconditionally and the way he was. Him changing for what Kavya even doesn't demand - is not what she ever wanted. Here the freedom is not materialistic it is his spirit's freedom that was lost and he had encaged himself in her memories. He could see no morrow for kavya's love had become a night for him. She couldn't see him burning himself this way each day. Kavya has just one problem she loves Anu so much that her soul kills herself each time she saw him in pain. She couldn't take it anymore for him and for her.BOTH. Love can be faithless yet truthful and forever. Love does exist without faith but cannot be sustained, so Kavya left.
Megha: That is great to know that you could relate to her, Thanks :) Kavya was never unsure of what she wanted there is an internal conflict which she struggles with each time. She knows she cannot have him for, he was not made for her. He can no way build trust in her. His love had grown deep and graceful in her heart, which she wanted to retain by walking away. If she even would have chosen to stay back there was no way it could have been sustained for longer.
@Bea: Thanks :) and welcome!
@Shas: Thank You! Hey to me it was an end but since you have recommended me to continue it, I'll surely try and do that. May be that would be more insightful :)
I am sure, we'd get to know Kavya more! :)
hmm.. theres hardly anything about Anu, so cant comment on that. Dont really know what drastic change has happened in him,...he likes her..she likes him[ok the previous him]...is it so difficult to let him understand that..in fact she should not say that she likes him..she should clearly tell him that she used to like him..but she doesn't love her anymore
oh how life ,could open up to give fresh start ,to love ,share our lives as we both know and believed it should been ,I been trying get back to you ,
the days turned to months
now my heart weeps ,as I can't feel you ,near as always held .
I am scared
I never wanted ,you out my life ,Listen to many things ,you speak of me .
maybe I've loss
A Truth that beats with my own Heart ,will be
You
Two Fools that kept pushing each other away
Two fools ,that wouldn't pick up a phone ,or talk
two fools ,with a smile
Let go
rest our lives
those two fools
will always feel those beats of
"our hearts "
wiping away my Tears ,Screaming with my complete Soul to be Heard
I Love You
My Dreams ,you will always be ,maybe in life ,couldn't be together ,as I would gave
was no one that was there to Listen
Was always there ,to fix me
Was none that accepted ,after hearing truth
there was many that was there to Judge
As ,it must of seemed ,my heart ,felt nothing
as must seemed things I done ,was heartless
dreams ,you shall be ,with me that ,holds no judging ,only accepting ,with love ,we always knew
Pray ,
You hear my Heart
Hear my Prayer
washed with tears
@Unknown: Yes that is what she has done, she clearly has indicated him that she holds no position in her heart for him, by leaving him. Her action signifies it all.
@Shadow: Beautiful, thanks for dropping by.
Trust and Love, if they don't go hand in hand, is it worth it ... or is it love at all ?! Through your story (I guess so !!) you try to address it in a refreshing way ...
I wish I had enough time to get back to writing stories ...
@Som:In a way you addressed the point that I was making here but at the same time you disregarded it. Trust and Love might not go hand in hand but do you really think it can escape Love? Well think about it.It is not my story it is fictional work. Hey you really should be trying to find some niches,thanks for dropping by.Welcome.
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